Two Nuns and The Gravel Road
EXT. HOUSE/PORCH - DAY
I, DYLAN (24), slide out my door. The sun is bright, the birds are loud, and I am a little hungover. I shield my eyes from the rays as I step to the edge of my porch. I hop off, land on the cement and trudge down the short pat to my mailbox.
I pull out a small stack of mail. I flip through the envelops until I find something interesting... There’s nothing interesting. A car zips down the road next to the sidewalk I’m standing on- it comes to a SCREECHING halt right in front of his drive way.
My eyes pop out of my noggin. I jump behind my mailbox. BEEP, BEEP!
MAN (O.S.): Yo!
I take a peak… It’s COLIN (24) with his head out the window.
COLIN (CONT’D): What’re you doing?
Colin rolls down the window.
DYLAN: Colin?! What’re you doing?
COLIN: I wanted to see if you wanted come to this job interview with me?
DYLAN: Like, you literally want me in the job interview with you? Or I can sort of fuck off while you take care of your business.
COLIN: You’d fuck off while I take care of business. But, we can get some grub after words.
DYLAN: Hm... Where?
COLIN: Downtown.
DYLAN: (beat) Fuck it, that doesn’t sound too bad.
Dylan cracks open his door. He tosses his mail inside and shuts it marches to the car.
COLIN: Hop in.
Colin leans over and pushes the passenger door open. I drop down in the passenger seat. Colin spins his tires as I shut the car door. He peels off-
EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY
Colin’s car zooms down the wide open highway.
INT. CAR - DAY
Dylan white knuckles the “Oh shit” grip as he presses his head up against the headrest.
DYLAN: You wanna slow down there, bud?
COLIN: We’re the only one’s on the road.
DYLAN: I mean...
COLIN: Just relax, man.
Dylan looks up- his eyes widen as the car speeds toward an OLD LADY pushing a full grocery cart into the middle of the highway.
DYLAN: Yo watch out!
I shield my hands over my face as Colin drives straight at the Old Lady. BANG! Her body rolls over the top of the car and down the back. Her milk and groceries burst and splatter over the windshield.
DYLAN: Dude! What the fuck?!
COLIN: What?!
DYLAN: You just hit that lady!
COLIN: No I didn’t.
DYLAN: Yes you-
I look out the rear windshield. The lady made it to the other side of the highway with her shopping cart. She shrinks as the car speeds further down the road.
DYLAN: What?
COLIN: I said I didn’t hit a lady. There was no lady to hit.
I turn back around. The front of the car is fine, the windshield is clear.
DYLAN: Uh...
COLIN: Dude, are you good?
DYLAN: Yeah.
I shake out of it. I rub my eyes trying to figure out what happened... It felt real.
COLIN: You sure?
DYLAN: Yeah just get to wherever the fuck we’re going.
COLIN: Can do.
All four cylinders roar as Colin presses farther down on the gas. I clutch onto the ‘Oh shit’ grip as I slouch down in my seat.
EXT. DOWNTOWN - DAY
Colin’s car cruises down a dusty and empty street.
INT. CAR - MOVING
I stare out the window, and watch as we ride by the empty sidewalk.
DYLAN: This is not what I picture when you said downtown.
COLIN: Downtown is downtown.
DYLAN: If you say so. What’re you interviewing for?
COLIN: Some restaurant at the top of the hill. You should apply.
DYLAN: I think I’m good.
COLIN: They pay good, from what I here. What? You scared of a whittle hill?
DYLAN: Depends on the hill.
Colin cranks a hard left. The car whips over to a short road at the base of a STEEP GRAVEL ROAD.
COLIN: You scared of that hill?
DYLAN: That’s quite the hill. You sure you can get up that thing?
COLIN: Oh yeah.
I poke my head out the window, get a lay of the land. Can’t see the top of the road. Buildings on either side of us. Not much on the edges of the hill.
DYLAN: I don’t know man, this isn’t exactly a rock crawler.
COLIN: It’s just gravel.
DYLAN: I know but that shit’s steep. Let’s just go around man.
COLIN: Nuh-uh, I’m going up this hill right here.
DYLAN: Alright, go ahead.
Colin grips his steering wheel. He slams on the gas. Dylan is sent back into his seat. The four cylinder engine purrs as the tires rip through the gravel.
DYLAN: Easy!
The Sedan make minimal progress up the hill when- GURGLE! The tires sink into the gravel. The car’s not moving.
COLIN: Uh oh.
DYLAN: I told you dude.
COLIN: Stop.
Colin slams on the gas again. The V4 purrs louder. The tires spin in the gravel. The car doesn’t move.
DYLAN: Stop!
Colin takes his foot off the gas. He twists the car off and hops out the front seat.
EXT. GRAVEL ROAD - DAY
Colin marches to the side of the car to get a good look at the tires. I climb out of the passenger seat. I trudge around the car and meet Colin on the other side.
COLIN: (examining the tire) Fuck. I’m gonna be late now.
DYLAN: I told you to go around.
COLIN: I wanted to go up the hill. It looked so tempting.
DYLAN: Welp, here we are.
COLIN: Guess so.
DYLAN: You have a jack? Maybe we could slide it under and get her out.
COLIN: No I don’t have a jack, I left it at the house.
DYLAN: (looks around) You want me to go see if anyone can help.
COLIN: Guess so.
DYLAN: Alright, I’ll be back.
COLIN: I’m not going anywhere.
I step up onto the sidewalk.
EXT. ROAD - CONTINUOUS
Strutting down the road, I find a little shopping center. Nothing’s open. I look around until I find a light, flashing green. I run over and find a little hotel tucked away.
INT. HOTEL - LOBBY - DAY
RING RING- The bell rings above my head as I slide into the Hotel Lobby. The lobby is empty. I run over to the FRONT DESK. Empty.
A BELL sits on the counter. I poke it-- DING... DING, DING! A BLANK FACED OLD LADY waddles out from the back room. She doesn’t greet me, she just stares.
DYLAN: Hi. I was wondering if-
The Old Lady plants a sign on the front desk, it reads: We have no rooms available.
DYLAN (CONT’D): Oh, I don’t need a room. My friend got his car stuck and I was wondering if there’s a maintenance guy that has a jack or something we could use.
The Old Lady shakes her head.
DYLAN (CONT’D): No?
The Old Lady stands still.
DYLAN (CONT’D): Okay... I know it’s a weird request but do you think you could ask?
The Old Lady shakes her head.
DYLAN (CONT’D): Okay... Could I use your phone?
The Old Lady shakes her head.
DYLAN (CONT’D): Please? I don’t know where mine went.
DING! The elevator doors slide open. TWO NUNS, with their faces covered, step out of the elevator. The Old Ladies eyes widen. She darts to the back and slams the door shut.
DYLAN (CONT’D): What the hell was that?
DING! I press the bell one last time. The lady doesn’t emerge.
DYLAN (CONT’D): (sighs) Fine.
I trudge back to the door. The Nuns lurk behind him.
EXT. HOTEL - DAY
I slide out the hotel doors, and turn down the sidewalk.
EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS
I pop out from the archway back onto the street. Two Nuns lurk behind, but I don’t see. I find the car, it sits there alone.
DYLAN: Colin?
I can feel eyes on the back of my neck. I turns around. The two nuns are standing right behind me, their beady eyes pierce my own.
DYLAN (CONT’D): Um... Can I help you-
They don’t respond... Just stare. I carefully step away. A grin grows across both their faces.
The two nuns whip out AUTOMATIC RIFLES out of their robes. My eyes widen. I dive over the hood of the car as the Nuns spray their bullets at me. POP, POP, POP!
I crash to the asphalt on the other side of the car. I don’t know if I’ve been hit, there’s no time to think about that.
DYLAN: Shit!
POP, POP, POP! The nuns step closer, they fire their rifles until they’re empty. CLICK, CLICK, CLICK. There’s a brief silence as they pull out their magazines. I peak over the door, the nuns stuff their magazines in.
I duck down as they pull back the hammer and- POP, POP POP! The Nuns spray at the car. I slide over as bullets fly over my head.
I carefully slide down the side of the car as the nuns inch closer.
CLICK CLICK CLICK, the nuns are empty. Gotta go. As their mags hit the ground I sprint back toward the hotel. One Nun pulls out a pistol- POP, POP!
INT. HOTEL - LOBBY - DAY
I bursts through the hotel doors and sprint to the front desk.
DYLAN: Ma’am!
I repeatedly slam my hand on the bell- DING, DING, DING!
DYLAN (CONT’D): Ma’am!
I leap over the desk and ducks under. RING RING- The front bell chimes, the Nuns creep into the lobby.
Under the FRONT DESK, I do my best to contain the nervous shakes. I leans forward- BANG! I smack my head on a pole. The nuns dart their eyes to the front desk.
I clinch my teeth holding his pain. The pole above my head bobbles until it falls of it’s hinges and lands in my lap. I quickly looks it over. It’s a not a pole, it’s a SHOTGUN.
The Nun closest to the desk cerebrally steps toward it. She approaches the desk. She carefully peaks over the edge of the desk- BOOM! Her face flies off, blood splatters the ceiling.
The second Nun’s face doesn’t move, she just fires her rifle at the desk- POP, POP, POP! She continues firing as she steps closer and closer to the desk. Bullets fly through the wood opening a hole. CLICK, CLICK- she’s out.
I pop up to the right of the desk-
DYLAN (CONT’D): Aaaahhhhh!
BOOM, BOOM! I fire two buckshots at the nun, she drops to the ground. Dylan hops over the desk. I keep my gun pointed at her head. I kicks her, she doesn’t move.
DYLAN (CONT’D): Fuck! What the hell was that?!
RING, RING. A MAN IN A SUIT WITH SUNGLASSES marches through the door.
DYLAN (CONT’D): Sir, I don’t know what happened.
The Man in the Suit marches past the dead body right up to me.
DYLAN (CONT’D): These ladies just-
The Man in the Suit reaches in his Jacket, he pulls out a pistol-
DYLAN (CONT’D): (wide eyed) What the-
BOOM! I shoot him in the stomach before he can pull the trigger. He drops to the ground.
DYLAN (CONT’D): What the fuck?!
I march to the door- I stop. Through the glass doors, I see a MOB OF MEN IN SUITS marching toward the Hotel.
DYLAN (CONT’D): Shit.
I sprint toward the desk. I pull the pistol out of the man’s hand as I pass. I stuff the gun in my waist band as I sprint behind the desk and into the BACK ROOM.
INT. HOTEL - BACK ROOM - CONTINUOUS
There’s boxes everywhere, a layer of dust covers the papers inside. I find the first door I can find- KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.
DYLAN: Ma’am! How do I get out of here?
Nothing. BANG, BANG, BANG! I pound my fist on the door.
DYLAN (CONT’D): Ma’am!
RING, RING! Can’t wait for an answer.
I sprint deeper into the BACK ROOM. Pull open a door, it’s a closet. Run a little more... Dead end. Run the other way... There’s a door. I pull open the door, it’s a bathroom. This could work?
I’m not sure, but I hear footstep and am running out of places to got. So I go in.
INT. HOTEL - BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS
I close the door behind me and press it locked. I look around- shit, there’s not much here. But, there’s a narrow window above the toilet.
I hop on the toilet and start pushing... the window. It won’t budge. I don’t even know if I can fit through, but I have to. I hop off the toilet and pump back the shotgun. I aim it at the window.
I take in a deep breath through my nose. Hold... and exhale through my mouth- BOOM! Glass shatters. Gotta move fast.
I cock the shotgun back one more time as I hop up on the toilet again. Footsteps sprint toward the bathroom door. The handle jiggles.
I run the metal barrel of the shotgun over the edges of the window. Once most of the glass is wiped away I tuck the shotgun under my and stick my head through the window.
A suit throws themselves at the door- BANG, BANG! Door won’t budge.
My torso pokes out of the Hotel, my legs and the barrel of my shotgun are still stuck. BANG! The door bursts open, a SUIT pops in- BOOM! I fire a shot, the suits back off. The shot sends my legs out the window.
EXT. HOTEL - CONTINUOUS
I tumble onto the grass. I pull myself up the brick wall until I’m on my feet. There’s blood on my shirt, can’t tell if it’s mine or not, I just shot a lot of people.
I sprint down the side of the back of the bring. I run and I run until I finally find the Gravel Road.
EXT. DOWNTOWN - CONTINUOUS
I poke my head around the corner.
DYLAN: (eyes widen) What?
Colin’s car is gone. Asshole. But, the road is empty, no one’s around. I run out from the corner and slide down the Gravel Road.
Once my feet hit the ground I take a hard left, jogging down the sidewalk away from the hotel. I jog and I jog...
DYLAN (CONT’D): Oh god.
I need to catch my breath. I stop in front of a FLOWER SHOP, the only bright spot in the gray town. I take a second to look around, let my mind drift for a moment. There’s no way those guys are still on my ass- POP!
A bullet flies past my face. I look over. A SUIT is marching towards me with a pistol in his hand, a MOB follows behind him. POP, POP! He’s missing, but he’s getting close.
I sprint down the side walk, the suits pick up their pace- POP, POP! They keep firing at me. I pull out my pistol, aim it over my head- POP, POP, POP!
I don’t know if I’m close, hopefully it’s enough to scare them.
I keep sprinting, but I’m starting to stall. I drop my shotgun, it’s too heavy anyways, hopefully one of them trips on it.
I turn the corner--
EXT. DOWNTOWN - RESIDENTIAL - CONTINUOUS
--Find myself in a residential area. There’s a lot of little houses, gotta find the perfect one. Can’t use the first one, that’d be too obvious. Can’t run all the way down to the last one, they’d see me go in.
Middle one it is. I sprint up the stoop and ram my shoulder into the door.
INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY
I bursts through the door. I slam it shut behind me and twist the locks. I turn around, Colin is sitting on the couch.
COLIN: Oh, hey. (spots gun) Oh...
Colin slides down the couch.
DYLAN: Colin! Where the fuck did you go?!
COLIN: Oh, um... I uh- I couldn’t get the car up the hill so I just walked it.
DYLAN: You couldn’t have waited?!
COLIN: I could’ve. But, I was running late. Why do you have a gun?
DYLAN: Don’t worry about it.
I stomp across the living room.
COLIN: You know you got blood on your shirt?
I stuff my pistol in my waistband.
DYLAN: Yeah.
I latch my hands onto the nearest side of the coffee table.
DYLAN: Help me move this.
COLIN: Uh... Why?
DYLAN: Just fucking help!
COLIN: Jeez.
Colin hops up off the couch. He trots to the other side of the coffee table and gets his hooks in.
DYLAN: Ready?
COLIN: Yep.
We hoist the table up. We waddle it back to the door.
DYLAN: Turn it upright.
COLIN: Okay?
We turn the table on its side and prop it up against the door.
COLIN: So, why are we doing this?
DYLAN: I don’t want to get into it.
The DAD from Suite life of Zack and Cody struts into the living room.
DAD: Dylan?
DYLAN: Dad?
This isn’t my dad, he’s the dad from a TV show I watched as a kid. But this is a dream and I’m being chased, there’s no time to think about that right now.
I run to my dad. He grabs me and gives me a big hug.
DAD: I’ve been looking everywhere for you.
DYLAN: You should’ve just followed the sound of bullets.
DAD: That was you?
DYLAN: I mean, not all of it.
DAD: Check this out, I found him when I was looking for you.
I followed Dad to the bedroom door.
INT. HOUSE/BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
I poke my head in.
DYLAN: Runkle?
There he is, RUNKLE, from Californication, laying on the bed. He’s sweaty, his breaths are short and sporadic. His eyelids weigh heavy.
Dad pokes his head in.
DAD: Hey Runkle, this is my son, Dylan.
He slowly picks up his head and and carefully looks over his shoulder.
RUNKLE: Oh, hi... Nice to meet you. (slowly sets head down)
DYLAN: Hi.
It took me a second to realize he had a bloody bandage on his ass.
DYLAN: Oh god! (shields eyes) What happened to you?
RUNKLE: There was a bit of a shootout and I was a slight casualty of war.
DAD: Yeah, Runkle, apparently that was my son.
RUNKLE: (head shoots up) That was you?!! You shot me?!
DYLAN: Maybe, I don’t know. There’s a lot of people shooting a lot of stuff.
RUNKLE: Oh bullshit, I’m in serious fucking pain here!
DAD: Alright, lets just leave him to it.
Dad grabs the door handle. Runkle shouts-
RUNKLE: Fuck youuuuu!
-As he shuts the door.
DYLAN: He’s cranky.
DAD: Extremely.
I look over at Colin. His shoulders are tight. He’s backed up against the wall.
DYLAN: Colin? You alright?
COLIN: Yeah?
DYLAN: How’d the interview go?
COLIN: Not great-
BANG, BANG, BANG! Everyone looks to the door.
DYLAN: Shit.
COLIN: Is that for you?
DYLAN: I’d assume-
POP, POP, POP! Everybody ducks.
COLIN: Oh shit!
Dad pulls the bedroom door open. POP, POP, POP! He dives in.
DAD: (sticks his head out) Come on!
Colin crawls across the floor into the bedroom. POP, POP, POP! Dylan crawls to the end of the couch.
DAD: Dylan!
DYLAN: Close the door!
DAD: No, get in!
DYLAN: Close the door and put the bed up against it.
DAD: But-
DYLAN: Now!
Dad grimaces. He begrudgingly slams the door shut. POP, POP, POP! Rounds of automatic bullets spill onto the living room floor.
BANG! A black sleeved ARM punches through the door. A pair of hands emerge ripping the wood off the door.
DYLAN: Shit.
I crawl into the closest door.
INT. HOUSE/BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS
I find myself in the BATHROOM.
I latch onto the bathroom counter and pull myself up off the yellow tiles. I grab the handle and slam the door shut. I twist the lock and jiggle the knob just to make sure.
I pulls my pistol out of my waistband and slide the mag out.
DYLAN: Shit.
About half a mag left. I slide the mag back in and set the gun on the counter- BANG! They’re in. Footsteps stomp outside the door.
I pull open the two doors on the on the counter. A large rifle. I quickly pull the rifle out. Slide the mag out, there’s bullets.
DYLAN: (sighs) Thank you.
I stuff the mag in. Pull the hammer back. BANG, BANG, BANG! The door shakes as it’s pounded. I snatch the pistol off the counter and carefully step into the bath tub.
BANG! I squat down in the tub. BANG! The hinges on the doors loosen. I prop the rifle onto the edge of the tub. BANG! The hinges hang by a thread. I lines my sights on the top of the door.
BANG! The door flies off the hinges. A man in a suit steps in, I pull on the trigger-
POP, POP, POP! POP, POP, POP! One by one a legion of suits rush the bathroom. They fall to the ground before they can get a shot off. The bodies pile up.
POP, POP, POP! They keep coming. They keep falling. POP, POP, POP- BAM! A bullet flies through the wall.
DYLAN: Ah!
I drop my rifle, grab onto my shoulder as I lay down in the tub. I lift my hand over my eyes, it’s red.
A Suit steps over the bodies. He carefully steps into the bathroom. He pokes his head over the side of the tub- POP! A bullet flies through his skull. He drops to the ground.
I pull myself up. POP, POP, POP! I empty the clip into the wall... No one returns fire.
I toss my pistol to the side, pull my leg over the side of the tub and climb out. I take my bloody hand off the bullet wound. I hoist the rifle off the floor as high as I can, tucking it between my arm and my side.
I trudge across bathroom.
INT. HOUSE/LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
With my gun draw gun, I carefully steps out of the Bathroom. RED and WHITE lights emerge out of the windows as I steps to the center of the living room.
A FIRETRUCK parks out front. I loosens my grip. My shoulders drop. The head of the gun tilts to the floor.
A trio of FIREFIGHTERS hop of the truck. Their visor’s are dark, their face is invisible.
One by one they march into the house.
FIREFIGHTER 1: Are you alright?
DYLAN: I need an ambulance.
FIREFIGHTER 1: Could you drop the gun please?
DYLAN: Sure.
I lay my gun down at my feet. The first firefighter follows the pile of bodies to the bathroom.
FIREFIGHTER 1: Jesus.
The second firefighter meets him by the pile. The two stand over the bodies.
DYLAN: Did you guys call the medics?
The third and final firefighter stops two feet from me. I give him a nod. He doesn’t return it. He just looks at me. So I look at him.
FIREFIGHTER 1: Go check inside.
Firefight 2 steps over the bodies into the bathroom. Firefighter 1 squats down as he inspects the men in uniform.
FIREFIGHTER 1: These guys attacked you?
DYLAN: (to Firefighter 1) Yeah. They’ve been coming at me all day.
FIREFIGHTER 1: Why?
DYLAN: I don’t know.
FIREFIGHTER 1: Okay...
Firefighter 1 pulls himself to his feet. He points his midnight visor right at me.
FIREFIGHTER 1: Is there anyone else here?
DYLAN: Um...
I turn to Firefighter 3. He’s still locked onto me.
DYLAN: No, just me.
FIREFIGHTER 1: You sure?
DYLAN: Yea-
I look back to the Firefighter 1. Firefighter 2 stands in the doorway behind him. Both locked onto me.
FIREFIGHTER 1: Go check that room.
Firefighter 2 takes a long step over the bodies. He stomps across the living room.
DYLAN: Hey...
He doesn’t listen.
DYLAN (CONT’D): Hey!
FF2 grabs onto the door handle. He jiggles his door. He yanks on it.
DYLAN (CONT’D): Fuck off!
I march toward the door. FF3 grabs my arm. I rip it away.
DYLAN (CONT’D): Get the fuck off me!
BANG, BANG, BANG! FF2 pounds his fist on the door. I hunch over and scoop my gun off the ground- BAM! FF3 wraps his arms around me and throws me to the ground.
The guns falls out of my hands. FF3 drags me away from the gun and the door.
DYLAN (CONT’D): Hey!
FF1 marches across the room.
FIREFIGHTER 1: Get that door open!
DYLAN: Dad! Get out!
FF2 pulls an axe out of his jacket. He pulls it back over his head- BANG! One chop. BANG! Two chops.
DYLAN (CONT’D): Dad!
I squirm, I throw elbows. I can’t break his grip. With one hand, FF1 grabs my machine gun by the grip. BANG! Three chops.
DYLAN (CONT’D): Dad! Get the fuck out!
FF1 presses the stock up to his shoulder. He higher he raises the gun, the more I wiggle and shake, and the tighter the restraints get.
He stops with the barrel at my head.
CUT TO BLACK.
That’s when I woke up. Right as it was getting good, but, I guess that’s dreams for ya. Hope my fake dad’s alright.
Dreams are weird.
